I’m working for the most powerful rodent in the world. #6

I work for “Mouse Works Inc.”. My first real day was to work the press junket for a film we will call, Autos 2. (It’s the sequel to Autos.) My job for the day was to, and I quote my manager, “Stand here and look pretty.” So, I stood next to a hand sanitizer dispenser for 5 hours in the cold. Yes, back when this happened, it was pretty cold here. I know what you’re thinking, “Wasn’t it really great to work the press junket? There were reporters and celebrities, and interesting interviews!” Well, I will tell you, YES it was pretty great. I got to see great interviews with really interesting people on topics that interest me. Yes, autos and animation interest me. I never claimed to have sophisticated interests. However, I also realized something, when you work for a giant corporation with endless funds; they have no problem paying you to do nothing. A major part of my “standing there and looking pretty” was “not to talk to anyone.” That is very hard for me. Very hard!  It’s even harder when the people who are standing around you notice that you have been standing in one spot for hours and they start asking you questions, like, “Why are you here?” What was I supposed to do, play Pictionary? I had to answer them.

So, now we have another entry of here’s what I said, here’s what I wanted to say:  

            They would ask: What are you doing? You’ve been standing here for hours. Or they would say. Why are you standing here? Or what’s your job today?

            I wanted to say: I have no idea. They told me to stand here, look pretty, smile and not talk to you. I think they are just trying to A) guard their stuff from you and your grubby hands and B) make it look like there are more people here. It makes the entire situation more exciting when there are more people here.

            I really said: I am demonstrating how to use this hand sanitizer. Would you like a demonstration? Then I would giggle and show them how to use the automatic hand sanitizer pump. It’s pretty easy.

They would usually leave me alone after that.  

After 5 hours of watching people interview celebrities, I came to this conclusion; some celebrities are babies. I kind of want to say, “It’s not going to get better than this for you. You are sitting in a chair (I’m standing up) and people are being nice to you, and asking you questions that have no wrong answers, like, do you have a car? Do you like cars? What’s the most fun thing about your car?

After those questions you will get some free food, and the people around the food will be nice to you, and you don’t have to park your own car, or pack your lunch, or make sure that your black pants are clean for tomorrow. You don’t have to find any quarters to wash those black pants. You probably have a washer and dryer in your house, and a wife or nice Mexican lady who knows how to use them. If you are unhappy after all those things, then you need to really examine yourself.  Maybe you followed the wrong dream, because I’m pretty sure all your dreams have already come true at this point and you are still being a baby. Maybe you really wanted to be an administrative assistant. Maybe then you would be happy. If you need help figuring out what you want to do with yourself, I will gladly trade you. You can work at Central Perk and stand here next to this hand sanitizer for 5 hours and I will sit in that chair and have people kiss my butt. I hope that helps! 

Introducing: Me! My first week, the SWAT Team and Tourrets.

Hello!
I am one of many LA Newbies. I've moved to this fine city to follow my dreams of being a star or at least working in the entertainment industry. I've decided to start this blog to keep friends and family (and the occasional reader who has followed a very long rabbit trail after a Google search) aware of the goings on in my life.
I've been in LA for a little over a week and have realized there are quite a few things to get used to.

Paying for Parking: Unless you are at the airport or a major event, it never happens in Kentucky. It always happens in LA. Get used to it.
Being Unemployed: It is really uncool in Kentucky to be unemployed. It's pretty average here. So is being homeless. Get used to it.
Traffic: Only during rush hour in Kentucky in designated spots. From 6:30-10 and from 3-7. No amount of yelling will make it stop. Get used to it.

Other than that. Life has been pretty great. It's mostly been sunny, but one time, I thought it rained because the sidewalks were wet, but then I realized that it was raining the same time everyday and only the sidewalks were wet. It was the sprinklers.
My first Sunday night here, roommate Jeff and I went over to our friend’s house and we couldn't get back home because there was a shoot out in front of our apartment. Wait, did I forget to mention that THERE WAS A SHOOT OUT IN FRONT OF OUR APARTMENT!!!!! Because there was one!

Let me elaborate.
-11:30 PM: I’m driving home (not using the GPS because I’m getting that good with my navigation skills) and my street is blocked off. So, I circle the block to come in on the other side. My street is blocked off this way too. So, I have no idea how to get home. I pull up to the blockade and say to the cop, “I live on this street. I need to get home.  He responds with, “There is a shoot out in progress. I can’t let you do that.” Well, ok then. At this time, I notice the helicopter with the spot light circling my block. Jeff and I wait at a restaurant called Tommy’s that serves hamburgers with chili on them, and I start texting Victoria who is in our apartment, which is apparently located on the OK corral!

-12:00 AM: The restaurant closed and Jeff and I decide to wait it out in the parking lot of a 7 eleven at the end of our block.   

- 12:30 AM: the helicopter leaves, and Jeff and I become hopeful. 

- 1:30 AM The cops decide to get coffee at the 7 eleven, and I ask them to give me a time frame. They have no idea what a time frame is.

- 2:00 AM: the cops approach my car, and say to me words that inspired me to blog. Words that I never thought I would hear, and words that I hope I never hear again. They say, “Ma’am, we’re sending in the SWAT TEAM to evacuate the apartment s on the street, so it’s going to be another 4 hours or so. You should make plans to stay somewhere else tonight.”  I have been in LA for one week and already I have a run in with the cops, a shootout, and the SWAT team is involved!

                Jeff and I drive out to my friend’s house (who lives 30 mins away) and stay the night there. I still have no idea what happened with the shooting, and haven’t been able to find anything about it on the news. Creepy 

                Two days later, I hang out with my friend Candice whom I haven’t seen in almost 10 years! We had a blast. We had dinner at TGI Friday’s and then stayed pretty late for their Tuesday night Karaoke. I then encounter DJ Debbi. Debbi is in her late 50’s. She has bleached blonde hair. She has the top half shaved about two inches long, and the rest is past her shoulders. She, essentially, has a reverse bowl cut. She also has turrets. She will randomly yell, “Young man!” in a high pitched voice over the microphone. Karaoke was awesome!

                This blog is getting long, so I’m going to end it. There has been so much great stuff that’s happened in LA so far. I've actually had some cool acting things look like they may happen. I've been hunting for jobs, because even though unemployment is cool, I just can't do it. I have some pretty cool roommates, and I've been having reoccurring nightmares about Robert Redford, but those are for the next one. Oh, and there is a homeless man in the living room, sleeping on my couch. True Story! I’ll let you know how that works out!